The Discovery of a New Element
I must first state that I did not write this. I must then admit that I don't know who did or where it came from. I was scrolling through some things from long ago and there it was. Whoever wrote it, I thought it was funny, brilliant and, saddly, accurate. Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new – element Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces coiled morons which are surrounded by vast quantities of right-on-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Even a tiny amount of Governmentium causes a reaction which normally takes only a few days to complete to four years or more to finish or resolve. ...